Rear view mirror #5

It’s been a big week of events, so I thought why not get off my arse and restart this blog, at least in the interim, with a rear view mirror. This week, I’m grateful for the compassion and decency of ordinary people, and hopeful for the integrity of our social institutions.

Of course, the big news is that it’s a big fat YES for marriage equality. Squeee! The official results can be found here. ACT had the highest Yes vote of any State or Territory, but was not the highest electorate, which was Melbourne.

I had kept things pretty low-key coming up to the result, but the night before, I felt uneasy and anxious. It had been a long time since I had allowed the world to judge me and my relationships, purely because of my sexuality, and I thought I had that aspect of my life covered. So it crept up on me that night, and that morning. Even when I spoke with allies and supporters, their keen (compassionate) interest in the result, my prediction, and my reaction, was slightly unnerving. Afterwards, when people ask me how I felt, I replied that it was an overwhelming sense of relief, but followed by a renewed sense of belief. Belief in decency, in compassion, and in the power of the people to stand up and speak up for what they think is right. My belief in many of those things have wavered, and it was good to have that reassured, at least to the extent that one totally unnecessary survey can.

The amazing result was shadowed by two things. First, around 4 million people still actively voted against equality. However you slice and dice it, that large a number still hits personally. You build up a safe bubble for yourself, populating it with family, friends and colleagues that welcome you, so that you don’t have to face those people who would prefer to treat you differently. A number that high is a stark reminder that there will always be those who hold opposing views, no matter how much you might not encounter them in your daily life. At the heart of it, while I disagree with them, I understand that for some there is a deep belief within them that informed their ‘no’ response. Be it religion or culture, I’ve always understood that principles of human rights and justice are ideals high up there in the sky, far higher than the earthly ground on which we humans walk. Every one of us, including me, tries to live by principles but our thoughts and actions are ultimately a reflection of our lived experiences and understanding. My experience as a gay man helps me to understand discrimination and being a minority, but yet I still consciously and unconsciously act in a manner that would discriminate against women. We are all on our own journeys, and some of us take longer to get there. In this debate, the Australian majority took decades, it would only be fair that we gave minorities the same leeway. Once I sorted out those feelings, I could enjoy that amazing Wednesday night in Lonsdale Street, where the great Senator Wong made an appearance:

In other news, my mum had her birthday and I went up to Sydney to celebrate. The two of us drove to Fitzroy Falls and surrounds, enjoying the beautiful scenery of the Southern Highlands. I’m loving how my mum’s retirement has given her more time and less stress. ‘Weekends’ now merely mean she doesn’t have to pick up her grandchildren from school! We had lovely conversations around lunches, swimming, walking, and driving, including a good discussion about the ‘yes’ vote and the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity.

In cultural news, Stranger Things Season 1 is yet another gem of a series that has broken my S.O’s non-binge rule (the others being Broadchurch and The Crown) and our no-horror rule. It’s a delightful, nostalgic series that knows how to work within the genre, with likeable characters. Looking forward to watching season 2 when we have the time.

Finally, an update on our house plans. S.O. and his father have done great jobs with taking down the deteriorating back fence and putting up a new one. We’re using the old palings to build a chook shed, so hopefully we’ll have fresh eggs by the new year! S.O. has also put in some edging for our front hedge. We’ve planted mint, basil, coriander, spring onion, lettuce and rosemary, and repotted our dwarf lime and lemon trees, giving them a new lease on life. Both my and my mum’s compost piles are doing well. I’ve upgraded to 3 bins, while my mum’s tumbler has produced some good mulch that we’re using in her garden patch.

Looking forward, I’m going to try to get back into the swing of things by posting regular rear view mirror posts each week, and then hopefully, relaunch the more in-depth posts in the new year. I wouldn’t necessarily hold my breath though!